man i feel fucking fabulous about my life right now. i got to do my own radio show on a commercial station. its funny i wasnt even nervous at all, i felt really ready to do it. when i got on air i was a little weird and quick and uncomfortable, but then after about an hour and a half i was all over it and feeling really myself and talking a little bit more and getting used to it all. i feel like as the show progressed i only got better. when i was driving home i realized i AM a dj. i am meant to do that, i have the skills and the communication to do it. i can achieve this career type path. i will get a lot better at producing commercials and my own shows and have so much skills to do this forever hopefully, or some sort of thing involved with this industry. i feel comfortable at the station all together, i feel chill with the people there and they are all friendly and nice, and we joke around and ive been accepted already. its really cool. i never really clicked so quickly with a new job ever, its like i slid right in and it was seemless. i also got a paycheck today! it wasnt for much, but it was some money i can use for gas to drive there! so im stoked, i got my first real paycheck from doing something with my degree! im pretty stoked i hope there are more opportunities to sub again for someone, cause id like the practice time. i know i will get better over time, its the only way it happens. doing it over and over again, and i will fall into my stride. i think that my boss will see parts of my personality on the radio and dig it, but i know hes going to have some stuff to say to me, but i told myself not to get upset and to take it all in and use it to get better. it will be constructive criticism. im siked to hear the feedback for sure.
i went out with my semi work crush last night afterwards. i find myself intrigued with him, and we get along swimmingly and he has a great sense of humor, but i just dont know if i am attracted to him or not. i dont think its a good idea to get involved anyways, but i see it going down that route. we have become close in a short amount of time, and spend a lot of our day talking to each other, and neither of us are getting any work done cause of it. but i like it, i look forward to it. its fun to have something to be siked about at a job especially when im doing the mundane work its a fun distraction. he is teaching me a lot about the job too which is awesome. but when we went to the bar, i wasnt nervous about what we would talk about or if we would feel weird or anything. it was smooth and rad, we played pool, and naked photo hunt, oh and this crazy hunting game that when i shot an animal my stomach hurt and i felt super bad and guilty and hated that feeling..but we had fun. we didnt stay long cause id been out all day which was perfect. it was the right amount of time to hang out initially and test the waters to see if we can be friends.
ok im going to sleep now, and looking forward to a relaxing weekend. i dont plan on doing shit, but maybe cleaning, some art and smoking a bunch of weed and watching movies with the fire blazing. straight up relaxation.
xo
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