dissed.

yo straight up dissed tonight. i was sure so sooo soooo sure i was gonna get laid tonight and boom nothing. i seriously threw myself on dude and nothing nothing nothing happened. i seriously got a peak on my lips and a good bye. how crazy is that? i feel like a dude, ernie said i was a dude now. i sat on his lap, laid right next to his face and nothing, but he was all rubbing all me and shit. i have blue balls right now. i never have really been in this situation. usually im the one who runs away and leaves dudes, so its weird to feel it. i mean it guess its good in sense i see what it feels like when i do it to dudes. but fuck man, i just cant believe i struck out so bad tonight, i was convinced. and i understand he had to go take care of his business, but i mean i was throwing myself on him and he could have been like come hang out in an hour..the funniest part is that he is going to meet up with some dude i fucked like 2 years ago and had a panic attack and left and then didnt have sex for 2 years. so im sure they are sitting there talking about me. which is pretty cool, maybe he wont call me again..umm scratch that, he just texted me with shouldnt have left there dude just stayed for aminute, had fun hanging out tonight. LAME LAME LAME so fucking lame, hes a pussy. im donee with this shit. i am done trying anymore, this shit is all tooo much for me. all this drama, all this figuring out, im over it. im just gonna do me and work and chill with my girls and not give a fuck about dudes. im done, the next two weeks is about no dudes either. nothing, just me myself and eye.