seems harder and harder to just be me. i feel like a robot zombie, just doing what i need to do with the day, but as soon as im alone, either in my car, my bed, the bathroom, im sad. its never been like this before. usually if im sad, im sad. thats that. there is no question, but im putting on a good face for people or something. this is serious. im seriously depressed, and i dont think its going away anytime soon.
every song, every thing i see, every person, every pair of jeans, anything fucking reminds me of him. i miss him so much, and then i try to think, what am i missing? am i missing a person who is still ungrounded, and insecure, who couldnt be a good person to me right now even if he wanted to? nope, i am missing those nights and mornings, and those moments only between us that just isnt being discussed. and i dont understand why. why wouldnt we want to be talking about how wonderful they felt? is it really too much for him? can he really actually not handle it? am i an asshole for assuming he should? am i just so advanced? what is going on with me? how the fuck do i get normal again??
i just want to be happy and positive melissa again, how do i buy her back?
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i am actually going to comment... and then go to bed.... if you figure out where to buy her back, buy me back, too. please. i could have written this myself. what the fuckkkkkk man. and no, you are not an asshole for assuming he should. i think that thought daily to myself, do i expect to much to think he should want that stuff, miss that stuff, think that stuff is amazing? i dunno. don't listen to me, i am just depressed and crazy and in the same boat. i love you. now buy us back damn it.... OR.... buy a house here and we will just live together and be sad together. haha.
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