year of the tiger....rawrrrrr

so today i feel super weird, not like my normal weird, but weird about b. i dont know why. i feel smothered. i partially think its because im in la, and im not in my environment and he represents the me that lives in humboldt which when i am around the city i totally want to forget i live there. i like to pretend i live in the city and i leave it far behind. i try to just be different. when im in cities i realize how much im missing from not being there, and being so isolated in my life. i really think its starting to isolate me too much. i think its making me weird and unsociable, and i hate it. it takes me a while to get back into my rhythm back there, because i live these two lives. i say it all the time when it comes to city life vs mountain life. i need to chill about b until i get back there. everything hes doing is so cute and everything, but i am kind of hating it. well not hating it but just easily annoyed by it. but the weird thing was last night at the club there were all these dudes staring at me and trying to dance with us, and all ic ould think about was that all these dudes are douche-bags and i know they wouldnt get me, like b does. he is all i could ask for in a person but it freaks me out. this is all too good to be true.