bass pumpin under my feet..

so its weird, i feel really annoyed by b today. i havent even really talked to him or anything like that, but i feel annoyed and like i dont like him right now. its weird. i feel so fucking confused on this whole thing. what happend to me? what made me change my mind? it might be because im in LA and there are so many dudes who i look at and their style and tattoos and i get all into them, and i think i want to be with a dude like that. but part of me knows im not meant to be, and i hate it. i would so much rather be with a dude who looks a certain way, but has all the good stuff inside. i feel there is more flava, and more to them or something. like a dude who has style is really important to me for some reason. b dresses kinda dull and is kinda nerdy, but all the stuff about him i do like. am i just finding excuses? why the fuck do i do this? i feel like i will never be happy, the grass is always greener they say, and i think i am forever going to be looking for something else, something that seems more right to me. but what is right? what do i even want? am i just scared? is that the issue here? i wake up everyday and think we are meant to be friends and thats it. always. every single morning. i feel like that means something. they do say the morning you are the most clear in your thoughts, so maybe its true. maybe i do want to be friends with him more than anything else. it just doesnt seem right other wise. i cant see me married to him and sharing that type of life with him but then again i do totally. i can see us living together and all that. its just weird. i feel so weird. and i know im being weird to him too which totally isnt fair at all. but what am i supposed to say? i think we are only meant to be friends, when i havent even been around him to know that for a fact? ughhhh so frustrating.