you gotta roll with it...

you gotta take your time, you gotta say what ya say dont let anybody get in your way..

so ive always been a talker, and someone who feels the need to express their ideas and thoughts, and sometimes this turns out bad and sometimes it turns out good..this week it was both. with my friend laura it was bad, because she isnt willing to hear anything bad about herself, and with brian it was bad in the beginning, but good in the long run. all week i was stressing on the words he said and the vibes i felt, so i took a few days to not respond to him, and then finally when he came home, i decided to go meet up with him and grab a drink, which we didnt actually do. we sat there at the slot machines and just talked for a while about his week and my week and the whole time i was a bit cold to him, i didnt know when the right time was to broach the subject so finally there was a point where i semi brought it up and i stared it so childish i made an off handed comment about how hes mean, and he was so confused and asked what i meant then i was all like well your words are mean, and they hurt my feelings and he was still not following, so i told him. i explained myself and my side of things and the things that i needed and wanted in a relationship and he totally listened to me and tried to explain his side too. i mentioned us maybe moving too fast too furious and he disagreed, he said when you like someone there is no too fast, but i dont really get that because i think there is, and he was the one who said that earlier..so that was weird..oh i also said things like oh your selfish and an only child and he went yeah and that hasnt really worked out for me this far has it? and then said that at this age we are too old to just be fucking people anymore, so obviously he likes me, blah blah..then he invited me over his house! he was like my mom really is excited to meet you and i want you to come over and see the place so i did go over and it was awesome. we hung out in his space and i got to be involved. sadly i had to leave and not sleep over, but i went back today to hang out with him and his family it was cool. we just all did our own things, i sat with his mom outside for a while, while he did other things then me him and his mom went on a walk to the beach then chilled back at the house and made dinner. it was comfortable too, like ive known them forever too. i then realized that my other two relationships thats exactly what i did too, i always hung out with their families and got to know them really well, so maybe its just how it should be.

overall i feel good about it. im still unsure about how much im into him for the long run, but for right now its great. its what i need. he really stepped it up tho, i feel like he really listened to what i said and took it to heart and decided to change. ohhh one big thing he said was that he never had a girl who stood up for herself, and he always really wanted one to, and he was glad that i did. i feel like this was a turning point in our relationship, i feel like we took it up a notch. i can just feel it, we are more serious about each other or something. which is way cool, like i said im not sure if its gonna be forever or anything, but it works right now, and im gonna roll with it.