feeling oddly well about all this..

so i did it i had the talk with him. it didnt go so well to be honest. some key points: he wasnt really ready for a real relationship; he admitted out of nowhere that he is selfish and an only child who always can do whatever they fuck they want, so its hard for him to know how to do anything else; (ie if he thinks like that for real, he will be lonely forever) he never had enough time between relationships, so he doesnt really feel closure from the last girl, who still texts him pretty often; when me saying, well if you liked me enough you would make more time for me, and he didnt disagree; he actually thinks we are going to hang out on saturday, actually he thinks that "if im drunk at the party you'll pick me up, right sweetie?" ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???????

what is wrong with this dude? my idea is that he is clueless and never has had to deal with a woman who needs him to act like a fucking man and treat a lady with respect and love. the good thing about all of this is that i said what i had to say, so i feel a million times better. also that i stood up for myself and told him i want and need more. the next time he calls and trys to act all cool, im going to let him know that we both want different things, and that im not into some fling. i think hes gonna be like ok cool, peace out...and im a little scared to lose him a bit, but im more scared to be miserable over a dude again. i know what i want and need and will not settle for anything less. i will totally give him a chance if he steps up his game, otherwise, peace yo. im just glad i didnt share too too much with him.

the whole conversation was odd, it was like he never had a serious talk with a girl before, he kept talking in circles, and tried to hang up a few times, because he didnt know what to say. he wasnt ready to talk or calculated to talk or something. fuck this shit ive spent enough of my life talking about this this week, im over it. goodnight.