peel sessions..

Ive been feeling kind of weird lately, like confused and upset and stuck in the past, something has reminded me of how i used to feel all the time, and i dont like it. ive been trying to talk myself out of it, but its quite hard to do. old habits die hard as they say right? i feel good because im not stuck in my little bubble anymore, i realize whats going on, how unspecial i am to a certain someone and how im just another one of the many many girls he talks to, and im done with it. im not going to let myself look like a fool and be played out like that. its not fair to myself. i cant believe i even thought of having sex with him! i was going to give up my newly found virginizm to him?? what the fuck was i thinking? ive been saving myself for someone special, someone who loves me and cares about me and my feelings, someone who wants to openly spend time with me, someone who doesn't lie and say the same thing to a million people. thats what im saving my body for, not some fucking dude who just wants to fuck me and doesn't give a shit about my feelings. sometimes its so fucking hard though because i get all crazy and want to have sex, its been sooooo long! but i know it will be worth it one day, hopefully soon.

as for the peeling, i took a bath today. not like in the sense of i was super dirty and took a bath, im clean i just felt the need to soak my body and lay there and chill. my mind was working too hard though, i couldn't just stop and relax at all. but i did try my hardest to! my favorite part is when i open the drain and all my dirty water and bad energy and vibes go down the drain..they float away like they never existed..i love it, i love the process of it all. water is so important in so many ways, i get my best ideas around water, and feel the most empowered. i seriously have my best ideas in water its nuts, if i need to think i usually take a shower and it all comes to me..ive been learning to use those signs and follow my intuition more often, i find that im usually right.alright im out yo.