can't you hear me knockin

yeah you got satin shoes...

i wish to god i wasnt so fucking insecure..i realized that i totally make myself feel crazy and i am a sponge for vibes and shit, and that doesnt always work out in my best interest, because i take it on myself and think its all about me all the time. i am so fucking paranoid i guess. i always feel like some people are mad at me or whatever, and its stupid.i have all this guilt from nothing and its so silly, ugh im being so negative right now and totally need to change it around.

i am feeling insecure in this new relationship that has come my way. it came outta nowhere and moved really really fast and now im scared and insecure. not that im not going through the motions and just seeing what happens, because i totally am, but there is this other shit that happens sometimes or whatever and it reminds me of past dudes that have fucked me over and broke my heart, and i really dont want to go there again. but the thing is he is different, i need to remember that. he isnt those dudes who hurt me before, he likes me and wants to hang out with me. we just need a little space, which im taking this week. im going to go back to my normal life again and squeeze him in somehow, rather than just hanging out with him. i want to live my life for me again. i need to keep me up front and important, because i worked too hard to get where i am to just throw it away in a 2 week stint with a dude. i met his bff today, it was intense. i hope she liked me. i didnt do anything weird, i was just kind of quiet, didnt really talk much, but i didnt have much to say really. terra told me i need to hang out with her in a better environment, and shes right, i totally do. it was just an intense day, and im ready for it to be over and go back to normal life!

sticky fingers is a great album.