so i realized i kinda live in two lives.. i have my philly life, and my california life. this isnt a new realization by any means, but it really came up this time for me. i would think about cali, and then feel super weird, it totally felt like a different life. it felt unreal to me. like i couldnt imagine going back to that. being in philly felt right, it felt comfortable, im not myself in cali. well thats wrong im myself more than i ever have, but i dont have the support system there, or the friends. i sit in and hang out with myself more than anything else, but in philly i have family to go visit, and friends to hang out with, and places to go shop, or just hang..its not like that in cali for me. thats why im moving. i need to get out of there, and start living life again.
california helped get me out of the negative world i was living in, it really made me a better person. i feel alive! i feel almost complete, the only thing missing is a man. but that is totally coming very soon, i feel it. nikole feels it too. im meant to fall in love very very soon. im siked.
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