crack a bottle

im feeling very very disapointed today. i feel confused. i feel upset, mislead, used, hurt, stupid, naive, exposed, gullible, played out, i could go on and on, but i wont. after this blog i wont talk about it anymore. i refuse to spend time on situations longer than needed. ive done it my whole life, and i dont want to do it again. im grown now, im 30 years old and everything before now was practice, its time to put things into play and not fuck around. no more fucking around. its all about being myself and being true and honest and surrounding myself around people i love and care about it,and who feel the same way for me. im not going out of my way anymore for people who dont deserve it. im not going to be overly nice, and just take peoples shit. im a sassy tuff talking bitch from philly, yo! hahah it felt good to just feel that way for just the time it took me to type that sentence. fuck dudes who arent man enough to just say they arent that into you. i need to go see that movie i guess. i seriously dont know why he wouldnt call me all day. it doesnt make any sense.fuck it. fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it itttttt fucckcccccckkkkkkk! fuck fuck fuck. i thought this was the one, i was sure, super fucking sure. so sure, it all made sense, all the puzzle pieces fit together perfectly. all of them. it made more sense to me than so much shit in my life. i was so fucking sure that this was it, my life was heading in a good direction with this one, he got me on some weird level. he let me be myself, i never felt stupid once. not until today after i made that wonderful valentines day card. it was so cute, and i was so full of hope. so full of hope. fuck fuck fuckccccc i cant do this self degrading shit anymore.fuck it. its time to go to bed.