love reign o'er me..

man i hate when i feel so desperate it totally sucks. cause normally im not so desperate, but for some reason recently ive been super horny and wanting anything and anyone really. i mean not really i could go fuck some random dude, but dont want to. i thought i had a good prospect open up when my ex fuck buddy came to town for the week, but hes playing some serious mind game action, or im just over reacting, but either way its weird and whack. he was all up on me via facebook, then i went to his show last night and it seemed like he wanted to hang out, but he lost his phone, so thats where the weird factor comes into play. he cant really get ahold of me easily, but he still could if he really wanted to. anyways, so he called me and i went over there and hung out with his whole band and ended up watching a movie and he fell asleep immediately and then when the movie was over i was like ok i guess im leaving, he was so weird the whole time, i kept putting my leg close to his and stuff and got nothing back. he kinda threw his energy away from me honestly. so when i left i was so confused but was like whatever then fuck it. so i get home and i left my water bottle there, so i wrote him on facebook and was like yo lets meet up, but if not its cool too, its only a water bottle, then thanked him for hanging out and thought i wouldnt hear back..then 10 seconds later i get a message back that says this exactly "we are hanging out tomorrow. i should have went home with you. i cant wait to go to the river" thats all i got. so i wrote back, i was gonna ask if you wanted to come up but you seemed too sleepy, but your always welcome. so i pretty much put it out there for him, like yo if you wanna fuck im game. so all day goes by and not a word at all, nothing. he was the one who said we were hanging out tomorrow!!! and tomorrow came and went buddy. what the fuck. but the weird thing is when i read that i was like that aint him, thats his friends fuckin around on him and me and then i felt weird and all awkward. but im trying to tell myself that it doesnt matter because if he wants to hang out he will get ahold of me and i need to not write him or anything at all. i put it out there and its not up to me anymore. but i hate this feeling of desperation. i feel like i did when i was waiting around for matt to get a hold of me or to tap on my window. i do this a lot, and its always with the wrong dudes, but its like i need it or something. either way it sucks, hopefully he gets ahold of me sometime this week and i get to have some sex, but im thinking my period will be here very soon, so hopefully it happens before that!! ok enough bitching..

jenni-mercury is in retrograde again until sept 12th, beware!