time to move on..

Its time to move on, time to get going
What lies ahead I have no way of knowing
But under my feet, baby, grass is growing
Its time to move on, it s time to get going

man i really feel like that these days. i feel so ungrounded, i feel so unlike me. i lost myself again, i always lose myself, but the cool thing is i come back quicker and quicker each time. its like i know where i gotta be, but i just dont also do it. i feel like im gonna make a big change soon. i went to the palm reader the other day and she told me that i need to open my blinders because they are holding me back, and that i have all the ideas and plans i need if i just listen to myself. she told me to start meditating, which i feel i do, but maybe just not enough. i need to do that on a more regular basis. i need to do a lot more daily things. i get so wrapped up, i cant ever find the balance with myself. the good thing is that i know what i dont want, which is a start. that lady also told me to make a list of everything i like or dream of, and then go down the list and figure out which works and which doesnt. its a good idea. she said 2010 is my year and that its all gonna come together for me. its funny because shes not the first who told me that, which makes me more stoked! she told me i would be married by 33, and that i need to cut off r, because he is keeping me from finding my soul mate. i havent figured out how to break the news to him yet though. i need to fade out, but i know it wont work. i need to be upfront with him and tell him we have no future. we just dont. hes no good for me, i didnt need the palm reader to tell me that. i knew after i broke up with brian and realized i didnt want r that the next dude i go out with for real is my dude. i was also told i will do more schooling or training or some sort, and she sees me in texas, which is weird. but then i remembered my one teacher went to u of texas, austin and told me about this amazing program they have and how he could help me get into that school, so for shits and giggles i checked it out and he was right, its totally up my alley. maybe my thing is to save up money and go to grad school for 2 years, i would only need rent and bills money. i dont know i feel like i always go back to the idea of school when i feel lost. but maybe its because im meant to go there, and just never feel like its the right time. but maybe the time is now, maybe those blinders are when i think of texas i go ughh no way, but maybe i am meant to go there. i dont know. i dont know what im supposed to do. but i need to do something. i need to put energy out there for my future and for a family of my own. i know i will fall in love and have a wonderful life. i know it.