I am love

So I just spend the last night with Tyler in Santa Monica and it was incredible. I had such an amazing time with him. Its been weird over the past few times its been different, its like I finally let him love me. I let it happen, and it is glorious! I cant believe all this time has gone by and I never really let anyone in this way. We are so free, we are so one when we are together. We go to a magically place with one another and have such an amazing experience. We were playing for 7 hours yesterday and got room service, we never left the room till it was time to go home. This is the type of love affair you read about in books, its so intense. We have these really amazing conversations that are deep and insightful. He always has my back and truly loves me for who I am. He accepts my craziness fully and understands me. Sometimes I wonder why I am not married to this guy. He is pretty much perfect for me. But there are many things that bother me about him, but I wonder sometimes if they would melt away if we were in a serious relationship. I honestly dont think I can be in a relationship with him, because I am looking for someone else. I feel like there is someone else out there for me somewhere. Someone who is more artistic and creative, but I am learning to see how much Tyler is artist and really is a lot deeper than I first thought. I assumed him to be plain jane and such a normal dude, but he really isnt. I also never really thought of him as street smart or anything like that, but yet again I was wrong. There is nothing really wrong with him besides his anal retentiveness, but its not even that bad anymore. I can over look those things when I am with him. Its weird though, when i am with him sometimes I wonder how the fuck I will get through, but I just think its maybe a bit awkward when we see each other for a while until we get comfy again. If we were to live together or something all that would go away.

I did say to him that some part of me wished I could just move in with him and get pregnant and just be, I do wish I could, but I cant. I would be so unhappy there, unless I really tried it here and hated it. But I dont see that happening. I think its just feeling this way because I just moved, and all things are so new right now and confusing. I am just going to keep going day by day and feeling how I feel till I dont feel like that anymore. Thats all you can ever do anyways, right? Even if your married, you just go till you dont love them anymore, then you get divorced. I think I am going to be fine.

He is fucking hot too.
xo